My REAL Grad School Personal Statement

I have been AWOL. Literally. Even my friends here in Spain ask me where I am. My answer? “The GMAT”. Yes, I am applying to go to business school to get my MBA. Well, after my month cram of everything GMAT, my score didn’t go quite as planned. (FYI: you can take the GMAT in Madrid, and many other international locations around the globe. Just locate a testing center on mba.com!) Long story short, my personal statements for each of my schools I’m applying to need to rock it, and rock it hard. After the past 3 weeks of working on my statements, I finally get to rest and relax. Well, if you consider resting sitting up all night wondering whether or not your dream school just tossed your app into the shredder.

 

I digress.

 

So naturally, after three weeks of filling out applications, sending in my dismal GMAT scores, and staring at my lacking professional resumé, my mind began to wander. I was so tired of seeing “must have at least X years of professional experience, or X years of professional experience preferred, I almost cracked. Instead, I decided to write my own personal statement. And it goes something like this:

 

DEARRRR (insert school here),

“I got Spanish lessons over kebabs from a Moroccan, learned a traditional Israeli card game from off duty Israeli soldiers, learned to play poker from 2 South Africans on a 3 hour plane ride, accidentally accepted a date with a Spaniard, went on a solo 3 week backpacking trip to a 3rd world country, watched sea turtles lay eggs on a beach, met some of the funnest people ever from Australia several times over, zip-lined over a rainforest, rafted Class V rapids, spent Christmas in Germany, spent St. Patrick’s weekend in Ireland, lived with people from 6 countries, chilled with a member of the Italian mafia, learned some basic Cantonese from a guy from Hong Kong, ate brunch with an Irish couple, lived with a Spanish and a Costa Rican family, and have spent more than a collective year of my life away from home………and all you want to see is my resume.” **hands over size 44 font, 5 line resume**.

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Best,

Maury

 

 

A part of me wants to apply to Harvard with this just for the hell of it. GIF and all.

 

Are you currently applying to grad school? What is your feeling on the application process?

 

One thought on “My REAL Grad School Personal Statement

  1. secondcitystays says:

    Same! After hundreds of hours and DOLLARS my GRE scores just wont break average! What sucks is I just want to study psychology, so the fact that the formula for the volume of a cylinder or being able to distinguish permutations from combinations gauge my preparedness is infuriating! I’m so tired of testing and studying and retesting that I’ve decided to run away from my mediocrity by applying to BEDA AND NACLA lol.

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